So here's how this thing went down. Abraham and his wife were visited by some angels, who hooked him up with the Lord to get a message. God was all like, "Yo, just a heads up, I'm gonna destroy the cities of Sodom and Gomorrah, cuz they're full of sinners." Abraham thought that was hella jank, that God would kill a handful of innocent people along with sinners. So he convinced God to spare the cities if he found 50 innocent people in them, and God agreed. Then he fluttered his eyelashes and haggled it down to 10, which God somehow agreed to. So he sent two of the angels to Sodom, and they stayed with Abraham's nephew Lot. But then, all the gay men of Sodom crowded around and demanded that Lot introduce them to these attractive new fellows, so that they may "know them"~. Lot instead offered them two virgin girls. They refused even the virgins, and instead tried to break in and rape errybody. So the angels blinded them all. Having not even found 10 good people, they ordered Lot to take his wife and daughters and flee the city, cuz they were gonna destroy it. They fled, but the wife looked back and was turned to a pillar of salt. And then INCEST HAPPENED, WTH. Guess ya shouldn't have spared them, huh? Lot totally got drunk and banged his daughters.
Unfair punishment you say? Hahaha how about that time in sixth grade when I got assaulted, so I bit the kid in self-defense? Yeah, it wasn't even that hard. Didn't even break skin. But he was a wimp and started crying, and I got sent to the principal's office. I got a level drop, which is the worst single-violation punishment at my middle school short of suspension. I got told that, if I had broken skin, I would have been suspended. They said that I overreacted, that a classmate confronting me in the hallway and wrapping his hands around my neck and squeezing heard was just harmless fun and games until I escalated the situation. They're lucky I didn't kill that SOB with just my teeth. Grrrr.
No comments:
Post a Comment