Okay, so, Adam and Eve do the thing and Eve gives birth to Cain and Abel. Cain turns out to be a farmer and Abel's a shepherd, because that's really all you COULD do back then. They both brought their respective goods, with Cain bringing fruits and veggies and Abel bringing lambs. But apparently, God wasn't down with the sheep? I don't know, this part is vague and confusing. This SICK REJECTION made Cain so sad )': so he decided the best course of action in coping with his upset and jealousy was murder. Mmm. Delicious fratricide. That'll please God somethin' good. Cain will be the favorite kiddo now. God asks Cain where Abel up and went off to, the scamp, and upon finding out that Cain showed his brother his stabs God gets mad pissed. He makes Cain into a wayward vagabond, which Cain apparently finds to be a pretty brutal punishment. Seeing as how he's a huge murderous jerk, Cain feels like everybody's gonna be out to kill him as revenge for what he did to his brother, and God, being an oddly fair guy, decides to give Cain a mark to prevent such a thing from happening. God is one fickle dude, first he hates him, now he's preventing him from getting killed? What happened to thou shalt not kill? Whatever. Then a bunch of kids were born and I don't even know what's happening in the last, like, half of that passage.
I don't want to talk about conflict I've had with my older brother because it makes me very sad and uncomfortable.
QUICK LET'S LIGHTEN THE MOOD WITH A STUPID HOMESTUCK JOKE
THIS IS BRO STRIDER HE IS A BROTHER AND HE IS DEAD (JUST LIKE ABEL) EXCEPT HIS BROTHER DIDN'T MURDER HIM HE WAS KILLED BY A DOG DEMIGOD WHO DIDN'T WANT TO WEAR A SILLY HAT (I HAVE CRIED MYSELF TO SLEEP OVER THIS MAN) (THE LIFE I LEAD MAKES ME ASHAMED OF MYSELF) (OTHERS ARE ASHAMED OF ME AS WELL)
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