Odysseus was one smart cookie. (I say this because I baked cookies tonight, and they were crazy delicious. Though, I must also say that I preferred Odysseus in the Iliad. *pretentious sniff goes here* He was just way more of a jerk in the Odyssey. Anyways.) What with the Greeks and the Trojans having been fighting for way too long, everybody was sick of the war, Odysseus included. So, he conjured up the dubiously genius plan of not making a legitimate peace offering, but instead forging one... in the form of a giant wooden horse.
The Greeks were effed up on something, man. All sorts of crazy stuff was going on back then, (I won't even begin on the pederasty) so I guess the idea of building a huge wooden neighbeast didn't seem TOO whack. Oh, and the horse was hollow. The not-at-all-suspicious plan was to roll up on the Trojans and make like this weird over-sized toy ('pay no attention the fact that a huge amount of men can fit inside this thing, honestly, we want this war to stop') was a token of peace, as well as the fact that the Greeks had bailed like stupid little dumb idiot babies. The Trojans, also being stupid little dumb idiot babies, actually fell for this really badly-crafted prank and got their city taken over.
The obvious lesson: don't accept gifts that are large enough to hold a human being inside of them. You will probably die. (Unless it's a fast woman leaping out of a birthday cake. Then it might burn when you pee.)
The less obvious lesson: what the frick odysseus oh my god how did that work
If we're talking dream journeys, I guess I should start off by being incredibly idealistic and saying that in this dream journey, I'm fluent in the language of the place I'm going. So, yeah. The problem of me being incredibly nervous about speaking to someone in a language I'm not well-versed in is gone.
I guess it'd be cool to just do a tour of all the rad places in Europe I've wanted to visit for a while. Iceland, Norway, Finland, Lithuania, Russia, Ukraine... maybe Bulgaria? Also Japan and Korea, I guess. For all the European countries, I'd go to enjoy the scenery. For Japan and Korea, I'd go for the fashion and the food. Load up on sweet snacks and sweet styles. Oh, yes.
I'm sleepy and am not sure how to end this.
ho RSES ??? ? ne igh
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