Tuesday, October 22, 2013

Young Forever

Apollo, in classic Apollo fashion, challenged cupid on his archery skills. You could say cupid was pretty well PO'd about this, so in classic cupid fashion, he shot Apollo (probably in the butt) with a golden arrow that made him incredibly and unstoppably lustful for Daphne, who I assume was a fine lookin woman. Well, then cupid decided to be a real jerk and shot Daphne with a lead arrow that made her hate Apollo. So, she ran away from poor Apollo, until one day she got to a river. At this river, her father, Peneus (woah that was close), turned her into a laurel tree to protect her. Apollo was sad, made a wreath from tree girl's leaves, and gifted her with eternal youth...as a tree.

I personally thing Cupid overreacted in this story. It's like that kid who is good at basketball, but is really sensitive when someone insults his "game". I can imagine cupid getting right up in Apollo's grill shouting "COME ON MAN LETS GO. LETS GO. LETS GO. " and then shoots him with an arrow. Seriously though, he could have used a Snickers bar. The other lesson that every female should take from this story is that if a guy won't let you go, like the guy in the Mariah Carey song "Obsessed", just turn into a tree. Plain and simple.

Eternal youth... not a fan. This is mostly because the concept of "forever" really startles me. To actually think about something that truly never ends is hard to grasp for my human mind. I have bad dreams about that kind of thing. But speaking of eternal youth: this guy plays for Arsenal Football Club, Jack Wilshere... and he's basically an overgrown toddler. You can find him on the TV screen reacting to anyone who wrongs him. His reactions are extremely immature, but hilarious because he is so short. I love Super Jack to death, and he's a great player.

Here's a picture of Jack being forever young, picking a fight that probably won't turn out well




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