-- also i make a reference to an erect penis. woah . raunchy . actually this whole post is kinda sexual im sorry about that --
Pygmalion was big into sculpture. I mean, big into sculpture.
He was also a big slut-shaming misogynist, but I won't elaborate too much on that.
After creating the most literal example of objectification ever, said object being a sexy lady, Pygmalion, being the conceited prick that he was, fell in love with his ideal woman. After all, she wasn't some prostituting floozy. We all know that any woman that has sex (unless she's a wife, because a woman's sexuality is only acceptable in the context of being bound to a man) is a deceitful, unfeeling harpy. Anyways. Galatea was bangin', but hard as a rock. (She made Pygmalion hard as a rock, too. Ba dum tsh.)
Thankfully, though, Aphrodite, being the goddess of love and sex, recognized Galatea's unbearable hotness and took pity on Pygmalion, making her into A Real Lady With A Real Vagina. Pygmalion was incredibly thankful for Galatea's transformation from stone to flesh, because he had been getting a serious case of groin chafe from desperately humping his hot statue. Then they had sex a lot and all was well the end.
Now, I'm not one to shame people for whatever kinks they may be into, but I will shame people for being objectifying frickwads. A hearty middle finger to you, Pygmalion. More like Pigmalion.
But speaking of kinks, let's talk about ~AGALMATOPHILIA~, which plays beautifully into the aforementioned story, as well as the character I'd like to be brought to life. Alright. So. Agalmatophilia is when somebody is sexually attracted to a statue, doll, mannequin, etc. There's actually a subset of agalmatophilia called Pygmalionism, which is when you're lusting after an object you created yourself. Anyways. This is relevant to the character I want brought to life because GUESS WHO'S AN AGALMATOPHILIAC
THIS GUYYYY
Hell yes. This is Bro Strider, and he just so happens to be attracted to dolls and puppets.
That's not particularly relevant to why I wish he were alive, but, hey, it was an interesting little tidbit that bridged the two topics beautifully. Incidentally, this is just a sample of what he's attracted to:
That's a Mr. T puppet wearing a leather thong handcuffed to a pantsless Chuck Norris puppet.
You're welcome.
But, yeah, as you've probably gathered, Bro Strider is certainly a piece of work when it comes to. Um. Well. Everything about him. The puppets are just one part of it. Basically, in spite of his rather unusual interests, I'd still love to hang out with the guy, find out what makes him tick. He's just gotta be a really fascinating psych case. What drove him to his agalmatophilic tendencies? I just. This man interests me so much. Why. Why is he the way he is. Why does he make puppet snuff films. (That's a thing that he actually does.) Why is he.
why is bro strider
i just want to understand
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