DID SOMEBODY SAY SODOMY

No.
No, just Sodom.
And its brutal destruction.

(yeah there are gonna be jokes about sodomy in this post hold onto ur butts. heh. get it. butts. because... nvm)

So all these men were looking towards Sodom, right? And, I mean, who can blame them. One can't NOT be fascinated by it. As they were gawking Sodom-wise, God mused on whether or not he should hide from Abraham "that thing which I do". What thing, God? What thing?

But, um. Honestly, what brings this about sort of confuses me, but basically God decides that because Sodom's full of semen- I mean. Sin. He's gonna go down on it- um. Go down and see whether or not the people there have "come unto [him]". If they haven't, he'll know.

Abraham throws a fit about all this, though, claiming that if God destroys the city, he'll be destroying the 50 good men within it. God concedes that maybe he should scope the place out, make sure there are 50 righteous dudes there so that he doesn't unjustly kill them. Then, God and Abraham have a little counting session? What is this, biblical Sesame Street? I think Abraham's just tricking God into lowering the number of righteous men needed for God to not f*guitar riff*ck the whole place good and hard, because... Sodom really is full of sinners? I have no idea what's going on here, I'm literally only here for the sex jokes. (I'm going to be an adult soon. My life's path is full of hope and possibilities.)

Alright, I'm laughing at this next part. Two angels came in...to Sodom, and Lot saw them and fed them and all that good stuff. But then, the men of Sodom gathered round and were like YO LOT. WHERE ARE THE MEN WHICH CAME IN TO THEE THIS NIGHT? BRING 'EM OUT, WE WANNA BANG 'EM. And Lot was just like NONONONO YOU GUYS. YOU GUYS,  LOOK. He then explained that he had two virgin daughters, and, disgustingly, offered to the men of Sodom that they do whatever they wanted with his daughters as opposed to frick dudes. Because having sex with another man is SO much worse than tossing your virgin daughters out to be ravaged by horny Sodomites.

And then I think the Angels got mad? Quite frankly, I'm having a hard time following this whole story. They threatened to destroy the city, but first were like, 'Lot. You were so good to us that we don't wanna kill you. Get the hell out while you can.' So he did...? Something about Zo'ar? God, I don't know what's going on. SODOM GOT F*CKED, THAT'S THE POINT HERE.

Oh, and then Lot's two daughters got him drunk and slept with him.

There's a lot of frickin' going on here.

In terms of unfair punishment, um. Don't hate somebody just because they have sex a certain way? Like, okay, yes, one of the definitions of sodomy is bestiality and that is a VERY BAD THING, but... uh. Yeah. All sex is good sex as long as it's fully consensual and nobody's being hurt.

God, I can't believe I wrote all of this. I'm as ashamed of myself as everybody else surely is of me.

I would post a relevant picture, but... given the content of my post, I think it'd be best that I didn't. You can look that stuff up on your own.