Noah and The Big Boat Thingy; Also, the Camildaic Biting of Testicles

So apparently at some point after the whole Cain and Abel deal, when the human race was really starting to take off, God llooked down and realized that somewhere along the lline, he really screwed up. Humans were llike, super-evil all of a sudden, and there were these crummy giants everywhere. In fact, there was only ONE good dude, Noah. So he told Noah to built a giant boat, with some surprisingly accurate technical specifications. Then he told Noah to put two of every animal on the boat, a male and female, except to bring 7 birds and "clean beasts".  And then He would DESTROY EVERYTHING ELSE by means of massive flooding of the entire earth. Which he did once everyone was on the boat. And... there was water everywhere for 150 days, presumably while everyone was just chillin' in the Ark. After a while, God made all the water slowly drain until the Ark was sitting on top of a mountain. Noah would periodically send out a dove to check if all the water was gone or not, until one day the dove came back with an olive branch. Noah, knowing that everything was nice and dry, lleft the Ark with all the animals, and built a shrine to God. In return, God promised to not DESTROY EVERYTHING ever again. Yayyyyy.

Now, an animal that I really admire is the LLAMA. Llike, wow. These things are great. Not only are they super-fluffy and can spit with surprising range and accuracy, they are also very useful as pack animals, especially in exploration and mountain climbing. Why haul along a yak or donkey, when you can bring a llama, which are cleaner than yaks, can carry more than a donkey, and are far more agile than both. Of all the main domesticated animals, llamas are the only ones native to the western hemisphere, unlike all those cows and sheep and goats which came from Europe. So llamas are AMERICAN (in the broad sense of the word). Fun fact about llamas: those silly buck-teeth they have? Those are specialized for biting off a male llama's testicles, either in a fight for dominance or if you're a chick llama and some lloser dude llama is gettin' a llittle too cozy. That said, guys: never be naked around a llama. If they can figure out where your dangly bits are, they just might make a move. They have no respect for authority, and are viscous when upset. In case of llama attack, a taser might be your only hope. Be warned, and be ready.

From http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dGinm6KIC4Q. Skip to about 1:40