Make-up Blog: Jason and the Golden Fleece

Another long adventure tale, straight outta Greece! Jason's father Aeson, King of Lolcus, was usurped by his stepbrother Pelias when Jason was just a child. Jason was sent off to live outside of Lolcus, but when he grew to an adult he returned to his home and confronted his uncle, demanding return of the throne to its rightful heir. Pelias was like "Uh, sure. But first go to this super-distant land of Colchis and retrieve this Golden Fleece. Then you can be king." It was a suicide mission, basically. But Jason built a large boat named the Argo and gathered up a crew of 50 daring men, his "Argonauts," and they set sail. On the way there, they survived two floating islands that would smash together whenever a ship tried to go between them. Upon arriving in Colchis, they approached the king there and asked him for the Fleece. The king said "Sure! If you complete these suicidal tasks..." But the king's enchantress daughter Medea fell in love with Jason, and promised to help if he would marry her and take her to Greece. So with the help of her magic Jason completes the task and retrieves the Fleece... and then they have to run very quickly because a pissed king is now trying to kill them. Medea murders her little brother and distracts her pursuers with a trail of his limbs. They get away and sail back to Greece, facing other obstacles like a rock-throwing golem and dark ash clouds. Upon their return to Lolcus, they find that Pelias has killed Aeson. Medea uses her magic to kill Pelias, allowing Jason to become king. Jason, not seeming to have learned that this chick means business, betrays Medea and married another woman. So Medea kills his children.

Ahhh, love. What a strong force, leading people to be blinded with emotion. And people who get their hearts broken... or brutally stabbed... tend to be filled with a different kind of powerful emotion, and often will lash out, like Medea MURDERING JASON'S CHILDREN. I don't actually have any stories of my own to tell... because I'm not the revenge type and I've certainly never broken any hearts. I have, however, heard some petty and hilarious revenge stories that take place in colleges. Boyfriend forgets girl's birthday? Girl wipes his toothbrush on her butt-crack. Girl cheats on guy? Guy calls girl's parents and tells them their daughter is pregnant. Good stuff, good stuff all around. Maybe not for the people involved, but stories like that are always a good laugh. What's less funny are news stories you here about guys out in Eastern Kentucky grabbing shotguns and blowing away cheating wives and their lovers. Murder is not funny.

The Argo. Pretty cool, eh? I've always liked the Greek galleys with the painted-on faces. Historians think that this myth is based on a real voyage and a real ship, claiming that the Argo was one of the first Mycenaean ships to make such a long sea voyage, and one of the first Greek voyages to the other end of the Black Sea. Many elements of the myth are exaggerations that can be tied to known historical events, such as the volcanic activities of the Theran Explosion (rock-throwing golem? Giant ash cloud? Floating islands, a.k.a. igneous boulders dislodged by eruptions?). It's believed that the Golden Fleece was actually just regular old gold in the region of modern-day Georgia, which they panned for with fleece. It's worth looking up, very interesting theories.