Analysis of Cupid's Chokehold by Gym Class Heroes

I couldn't stomach the possible thought of breaking down a song by One Direction or God forbid Hunter Hayes, so I'm gonna make the smart contemporary play and break down a song from our early middle school days. "Cupid's Chokehold"by Gym Class Heroes takes a real look into the mind of the guy locked deep within a relationship, one in which he's fairly satisfied and mesmerized but which he ironically still considers to be mediocre during the chorus.

This is explicitly stated in his repeated use of the following lines:
"She's the only one I got (ba ba da da)Not much of a girlfriendI never seem to get a lot (ba ba da da, ba ba da da)"


This would be perfectly fine if it was a song in which he was simply bagging on how bland and unappealing his girlfriend was (the use of fine here leaves room for interpretation). Instead, the song goes on to glorify the girl and how perfect she is.

Let's examine the third stanza after the opening chorus:
"I mean she even cooks me pancakes
And Alka Seltzer when my tummy aches
If that ain't love then I don't know what love is"

He seems so pleased about how caring and thoughtful she is, yet in every single chorus, he essentially brings her back down to the average level with the phrase "Not much of a girlfriend". 

Perhaps this leads into our discussion of the title, which is derived from the following line:
"And I know it sounds so old
But cupid got me in a chokehold (chokehold)"

This indicates a feeling of helplessness inside of the narrator. He doesn't really feel fulfilled even though the girl is going above and beyond to please him (women would probably say he's symbolic of every guy alive, but that's a debate for another day). 

From an imagery standpoint, the romantic conundrum faced by the narrator is nothing short of lopsided.  The only major complaints are brought up in the chorus, but other than that, it's all admiration of the girl, with phrases like "She's got eyes comparable to sunrise" and "She's got porcelain skin, of course she's a ten". We get painted this fantastic picture of the girl, but not the hidden drawbacks that have put the narrator in this difficult scenario of not feeling content.

Looking back on it, part of the chorus may have to do with the narrator playing down the stock of his own girlfriend in order to keep her around longer and away from other male competition. If so, then this is the hidden stroke of genius. Well played. If not, well you're just asking for her to find someone else who appreciates here and giving us guys a bad name. 

http://youtu.be/xsIWmtZaFhY (link to song with the lyrics)