RE: I am NOT doing that again.

I am NOT doing that again.

By Callie McMullin

(I don’t normally do this.  Usually I

am friends with you first.  I

don’t start off dating some person I

don’t know.  That’s not how I do things.  I

prefer having some kind of relationship to work off of.  Anyway, I

hope this goes well.)  “I

Would like to introduce myself.  I

am (I already know who you are).  I

help out at homeless shelters when I

am not working at the non-profit I

started.  My favorite color is green, like the trees I

Plant every summer.  This one time, when I

Was a little boy (so you weren’t a little girl?) my father and I

rented a boat to take to the lake.  It was the first time I

had been in such clear water.  That’s what I

think of when I look into your eyes (How cheesy.).  May I

just say, you look ravishing tonight (Boy, I better.)  I

hope this is the first of many dates I

get to enjoy with you, (he calls me some pet name he hasn’t earned yet).  Waiter!  I

would like to order the (Are you really ordering the most expensive thing on the menu?) And I

want the same thing for her (You did not just order for me.  Well, at least you’re paying.)  I

hope you don’t mind.  It’s my favorite meal and I

would like you to try it.  I

had to be nursed back to health after I

Suffered from food poisoning eating this meal from that restaurant across town.  I

trust the chef here; he has cooked for my family at numerous functions.  I

should go speak with him, actually, if you don’t mind, for just a moment.  I

need to ask him a favor.  My cousin’s wedding is this spring, and she asked that I

find her a chef.  She wants only the best.  And I

only want the best for her.  I would do the same thing for you, my dear.”  (Man, am I

glad he’s gone!  I finally have my chance to get away.  I

really could just go out the front door; this dress won’t allow for any climbing out windows. Should I

leave a note, or should I just leave?  I

think I’m just going to leave.  I

can’t do this date anymore, and I don’t want to get his hopes up in any way.  I

like him enough to do that much. . .I think.  This is the last time I

let my friends set me up with someone else.  I swear.  My system works.  I

don’t have to do that to myself.  He and I just didn’t see eye to eye.

______________________________________________________________________________________

(I don’t normally do this.  Usually I

am friends with you first.  I

don’t start off dating some person I

don’t know.  That’s not how I do things.  I

prefer having some kind of relationship to work off of.  Anyway, I

hope this goes well.)  “I

Would like to introduce myself.  I

Am (I already know who you are).  I

Help out at homeless shelters when I

Am not working at the non-profit I

Started.  My favorite color is green, like the trees I

Plant every summer.  This one time, when I

Was a little boy (so you weren’t a little girl?) my father and I

Rented a boat to take to the lake.  It was the first time I

Had been in such clear water.  That’s what I

Think of when I look into your eyes (How cheesy.).  May I

Just say, you look ravishing tonight (You’ve never seen me before.)  I

Hope this is the first of many dates I

Get to enjoy with you, (he calls me some pet name he hasn’t earned yet).  Waiter!  I

Would like to order the (Are you really ordering the most expensive thing on the menu?) And I

Want the same thing for her (You did not just order for me.  Well, at least you’re paying.)  I

Hope you don’t mind.  It’s my favorite meal and I

Would like you to try it with me.  I

Had to be nursed back to health after I

Suffered from food poisoning eating this meal from the restaurant across town.  I

Trust the chef here; he has cooked for my family at numerous functions.  I

Should go speak with him, actually, if you don’t mind, for just a moment.  I

Need to ask him a favor.  My cousin’s wedding is this spring, and she asked that I

Find her a chef.  She only wants the best.  And I

Only want the best for her.  I would do the same thing for you, my dear.”  (I

Am so glad he’s gone!  I finally have my chance to get away.  I

Really could just go out the front door; this dress won’t allow for any climbing out windows.  Should I

Leave a note, or should I just leave?  I

Think I’m just going to leave.  I

Can’t do this date anymore, and I don’t want to get his hopes up in any way.  I

Like him enough to do that much. . .I think.  This is the last time I

Let my friends set me up with someone else.  I swear.  My system works.  I

Don’t have to do that to myself.  He and I just didn’t see eye to eye.