jesus is metal as frick

Alright, so, I'm fairly certain that I'm supposed to be doing my allusions blog on the Agony of Christ. Here's to hoping I'm right.

From what I've gathered - and mind you, I'm far from a Biblical scholar - the 'leaders', said to be the chief priests and scribes, were formulating a way to kill Jesus. There's also something about Jesus being anointed at Bethany, but from my frantic Googling to figure out exactly what this scene is (it's not as well-known as the parting of the Red Sea, it's a bit more nebulous than that) I've gathered that this part isn't what's most important. What's most important is that before what became the Last Supper, Judas made a deal with the priests to betray Jesus and he got paid for it. I would try to be funny with this, but for some reason, the humor's just not happening right now. Maybe it's because I'm not funny, maybe it's because I'm typing properly for the sake of maintaining some semblance of reverence for a sad Biblical story.

Whatever. At the Last Supper, Jesus basically tells his apostles 'one of you will betray me', and they all freak out, and he says that the one who will betray him will be one who 'dippeth with me in the dish'. Whatever that means. I think he's just again reiterating the fact that one of the people eating with him (ding ding ding, Judas included) will betray him. I just realized that I probably should have said earlier that Judas was one of Jesus' apostles, but I think you all know that already, so it just seems redundant. It was at the Last Supper that Jesus also told them 'eat this bread, it's my body, drink this wine, it's my blood'. Hannibal would be proud.

Then they go to Gethsemane and go into this garden, and Jesus basically tells them, 'the fact that I'm going to die makes me sad.' So he just lays down in the grass and OKAY I JUST LOOKED IT UP I THINK I KNOW WHAT'S HAPPENING NOW. Jesus prays three times to God, at first basically asking 'WHY DO I HAVE TO DIE. THIS SUCKS.' but eventually he's like 'okay, if you want this, it's chill.' And he sweats blood. Metal. But yeah, in between all this blood-sweating prayer he checks on his apostles, who have, like. Fallen asleep or something? And after the third time he's like 'GET UP GUYS I'M ABOUT TO BE BETRAYED.' So that's exciting.

And then Judas betrays Jesus and yeah yeah yeah. I'm not even sure if I got the right section of the Bible when doing this. Is this the Agony of Christ? I have no idea, but I do know that I wrote too much.

tl;dr Judas promises to betray Jesus for some cash, Jesus tells his apostles at the Last Supper that he will be betrayed by one of the people eating with him, he also starts communion, basically, and then after coming to terms with his fate and sweating blood like the metalhead he is, Jesus is like 'I'm gonna be betrayed now' and then Judas betrays him. Pretty agonizing. I think the 'agony' is just him wailing to God about why he has to die and how he doesn't want to, but then he deals with it. Go, Jesus.

An agonizing thing I've had to face at Henry Clay... too many things to count. I'm going to take the lame route out and not say much about this because I've already written plenty as is. Uh. That big chemistry lab sophomore year. AP Environmental Science. All those biology dissections. Mentoring crap. HOORAY FOR MISERY.